Solemn piano chords in the changing-room today replace the jazz dance, salsa or Sinatra we are more used to as we strip off, shower down or lycra up. Do the staff take turns to select our ambient music? Maybe it's finally the chance for the gardener to decide what goes out through the loudspeakers and he's a reflective type who has just suffered a bereavement. We shake heads in disbelief and water out of ears. Don't they play martial music when there's been a military coup? Down here there's no network reception. Who would tell us if the Queen has died or if the country has been taken over by anarchist aesthetes? But no, the next track is Beethoven's Ode to Joy – the European Hymn. Does this mean that Greece has defaulted and is being mourned? Or has Scotland joined the Euro and taken with it its bagpipes and its North Sea gas?
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